For some time now, I’ve been watching and listening from-a-far as my mother has been aging. I guess about 3 years ago we first started noticing some memory problems. As time has passed, it has been getting worse and worse. I’m not going to bore you with the details of what is happening, I just wanted to put something here on the issue.
I returned yesterday from my mother’s home. Currently she still drives and lives in her own home, but I’m getting real concerned because if something were to happen I’m 4 hours away and just can’t be there if she needs me. This was the trip that I was not looking forward to at all. It started the conversation of her moving out of her home and into an assisted living facility. Also, the financial situation certainly was part of the talks. Her reaction was, as I expected it to be, “kicking and screaming”. She was saying stuff like, you’re trying to steal all of my money, you’re putting me in a home, etc, etc.. You get the picture.
I’ve talked about the situation to great extent with her friends, the family, her doctor and I know, intellectually, that I’m doing the right thing. I’m trying to keep her safe and to prevent any harm from coming to herself or anyone else. Of course, she doesn’t see it this way and that’s where the problem comes in. How do you remove the emotion from these decisions so that you just let the “kicking and screaming” slide off of you back and not be affected by it? How do you just put on a happy face while you’re changing someone’s life forever? How do you take away the one thing that she has in life, her independence?
This blog contains the random thoughts of a guy named Tommy. We'll share thoughts on writing, photography and anything else I want, because it's my blog and not yours.
“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room”.-- Anita Roddick
1 comment:
"How do you take away the one thing that she has in life, her independence?"
Sometimes, maybe you don't. Now that I'm getting old myself (78) I understand how people my age feel about it. Most of us have always been quite independent and self-reliant, and one of our greatest fears is to become dependent upon others, usually strangers, for our quality of life, or lack thereof. Some of those care homes are dismal places where they aren't much interested in the individual's well-being so much as in the money they get for warehousing old folks until they can call the undertaker, and start
with someone else.
And some of us, of course, can't afford the thousands of dollars per month those rascals demand for their nasty little rooms and the rest that comes with it. So some of
us have to look at other solutions - one of which is to wear an electronic pendant or wrist-band which can summon help if we need it. And there are community services which can assist with the
shopping, etc., so I'm told. So don't rush into something without being sure you've done your homework.
Post a Comment